Young children have a lot of BIG feelings, and it is our job to help them learn how to take all of those big feelings and turn them into positive social interactions. On top of teaching them how to act on their own feelings, we also want to make sure that they are also learning how to empathize with others when they are struggling.
Little ones have a hard time with empathy because of one simple reason: They don’t understand theory of mind.
These days, there is an absolutely overwhelming amount of parenting advice out there. We have access to all the information we could ever want with just the click of a button. As a result of this instant gratification, we become overwhelmed by hearing how SO many other moms do it, start judging ourselves, and enter into a vicious cycle of self-loathing.
Trust me, I’ve been there.
Have you ever seen those pictures on the internet titled “Reasons My Kid is Crying?” It’s a hilarious series of pictures of toddlers and young children having tantrums over the most ridiculous things such as “I wouldn’t let her eat raw eggs,” or “I told him he couldn’t drink my beer.”
Parenting a toddler is basically taking a walk through a minefield and waiting for the next explosion. As parents we have to be able to find some humor in the reasons our kids are crying, because otherwise we might literally go crazy. But at the end of the day, parents are always looking for the same thing: how to help our children recover from their meltdowns and build resilience over time.
Toddlers and young children lack the language, impulse control, and self-regulation skills to keep themselves calm and collected. Instead we see them whining and tantruming whenever they experience strong emotions or become overstimulated.
I’ve seen it time and time again, and I’m sure you have too… A child darts past another child, knocking over their block structure, yelling an un-empathetic “Sorry!” over their shoulder as they run off to continue their play. Young children are being taught to say “sorry” long before they are actually developmentally capable of feeling sorry for their actions. The act of saying sorry appeases adults because it’s the polite thing to do, but teaching children to say sorry is not the same as teaching our children to be empathetic towards others, and here’s why: