One of the most frustrating aspects of parenting is figuring out how to get your child to listen the *first time* you ask them to do something. Nothing is more irritating that feeling like you need to repeat yourself, yell, or resort to punishment over simple requests. If you are struggling with little kids who don’t listen the first time, stick with me for the one simple strategy that actually works.
But first, here’s why it doesn’t work to repeat yourself in the first place:
Kids are notoriously terrible at waiting. Patience is just not something that comes easily to young children who want everything RIGHT NOW.
With every new piece of technology that comes out, our kids become more and more dependent on instant gratification. As a society we’ve forgotten how to stick with long-term projects and reap the rewards of our patience and hard work.
Ahh, toddlers. You’ve got to love them. Toddlerhood is actually my favorite age of childhood, because it’s a time of such huge growth. One of the most notable changes happening during this phase is child’s desire to be independent… the child’s desire to do things their way.
Sound familiar?
Wanting to do everything their way, along with other major cognitive and social gains creates the perfect storm for negative behaviors (like screaming, hitting, biting, saying “no”) to rear their ugly head.
If you asked me a year ago what word best described my parenting, it might have been “rigid.” Being a preschool teacher for so many years had made me a little too good at setting limits and following through. It got to the point where every day with my 3-year-old son was a repeat cycle of tears and unnecessary power struggles. I found myself thinking that I couldn’t let go of one single thing because then, “He’d win.”
But one day it hit me… at what point did he and I stop being on the same team? At what point did I start controlling him instead of guiding him? Of course I should want him to “win.” I want him to win at solving problems. To win at loving others unconditionally. Most importantly, to win in our relationship.
Fast forward to now, and I’m viewing defiance and misbehavior in a whole new light.
Think back to the last tantrum your child had. What do you remember about it? There’s a pretty good chance that you can’t remember what it was about, but I bet you remember “that feeling.”
You know what I’m talking about… the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach and the heat rising in your neck and cheeks. The feeling that is a cross between desperately wanting to help your child work through the pain they are experiencing, while also being so incredibly frustrated that you just want to start screaming yourself.
It is so difficult to remain calm when our children are having a meltdown. The most important thing to remember about tantrums are that they are a completely normal part of childhood.
Have you ever seen those pictures on the internet titled “Reasons My Kid is Crying?” It’s a hilarious series of pictures of toddlers and young children having tantrums over the most ridiculous things such as “I wouldn’t let her eat raw eggs,” or “I told him he couldn’t drink my beer.”
Parenting a toddler is basically taking a walk through a minefield and waiting for the next explosion. As parents we have to be able to find some humor in the reasons our kids are crying, because otherwise we might literally go crazy. But at the end of the day, parents are always looking for the same thing: how to help our children recover from their meltdowns and build resilience over time.
Toddlers and young children lack the language, impulse control, and self-regulation skills to keep themselves calm and collected. Instead we see them whining and tantruming whenever they experience strong emotions or become overstimulated.
I’m a newbie stay at home mom, so crafting my 3-year-old’s daily schedule has been an exciting part of the adventure! Having been a preschool teacher for many years, I wanted to make sure that our days at home are balanced with enough play, rest, and active times. Here are some things to consider if you are working on crafting your daily toddler schedule:
Children love predictability and knowing what is going to come next, so it’s important to have a general rhythm to your days. With this said, don’t feel like you can’t change things up for special events and activities. Our schedule is always fluid and changes when necessary!
This is the general “flow” of our daily routine that works really well for us:
Dealing with toddler behaviors is downright frustrating. Do you find yourself racking your brain daily trying to figure out why your toddler won’t listen to you? There are so many factors that go into how our children behave that often times it can be difficult to determine the culprit. Are they overtired? Overwhelmed? Feeling shame or embarrassment?
When we have a better idea of how toddler’s brains work, we can gain insights into their behavior and take steps to help them improve over time. Here are 5 secret truths behind your toddler’s behavior and the positive parenting strategies you can use to help them:
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I think most moms would agree, there is nothing more stressful than driving in the car with a hysterical child.
Ever since my now 2.5 year old was an infant he has absolutely hated his carseat. Within moments of pulling out the driveway the screaming and thrashing would start, and as a mom I felt powerless in knowing that I couldn’t soothe him. The louder his screaming, the more stressed out I became, and it led to a vicious and miserable cycle for both of us. There were times that my son screamed so hard that he would cough, gag, or stop breathing for a few seconds. It was absolutely terrifying.
As a preschool teacher and mom of a busy toddler, I have spent more hours than I’d like to admit trying to figure out the most useful, sturdy, bang-for-your-buck learning toys. With so many toys on the market, I look for ones that will grow with my child and help him build up his attention span and problem-solving skills. Basic concepts like colors, shapes, letters and numbers are all things that can be learned through play when your child is provided with the right learning materials.
In terms of quality and durability, I have found that wooden toys stand up to the test of time far better than plastic toys. Wooden toys simply last longer and (contrary to popular belief) they don’t have to be more expensive! Here are my top 5 favorite learning toys for toddlers under $25: