Young children have a lot of BIG feelings, and it is our job to help them learn how to take all of those big feelings and turn them into positive social interactions. On top of teaching them how to act on their own feelings, we also want to make sure that they are also learning how to empathize with others when they are struggling.
Little ones have a hard time with empathy because of one simple reason: They don’t understand theory of mind.
These days, there is an absolutely overwhelming amount of parenting advice out there. We have access to all the information we could ever want with just the click of a button. As a result of this instant gratification, we become overwhelmed by hearing how SO many other moms do it, start judging ourselves, and enter into a vicious cycle of self-loathing.
Trust me, I’ve been there.
The number one frustration of parents everywhere seems to be figuring out how to deal with power struggles. It’s the theme that keeps repeating itself over and over again, from generation to generation.
We’ve come up with all sorts of nifty ideas about how to solve power struggles…. Timeouts and taking away “privileges” always top the list for the most common techniques. Those are closely followed by more positive strategies like giving choices, being playful, or using distractions.
But none of these options get to the root of the issue, and therefore none of them work in isolation for very long. To figure out how to solve power struggles once and for all, we need to address where they actually come from.
Is your child one that gives up easily? Do they sulk and say “I can’t do it” when things get difficult?
Or is your child brave & resilient, knowing that with the right effort and strategies, she can accomplish anything?
These two very different mindsets start during childhood and follow your child right into adulthood. They are described by Dr Carol Dweck at Stanford University as a Fixed mindset vs a Growth mindset.